At the Aid Station - Pacer Pick Up
Pacer “You look great, let me refill your water and we will get going.”
Translation – You look like crap. I’ve seen corpses look better than you!
Runner “Thanks, I’m just going to sit for a min.”
Translation – I feel like I am dying. Can you just shoot me and put me out of my misery?
Pacer “Ok we need to go now.”
Translation – Get your butt up, I’ve been waiting to run all day and you’re just sitting there.
Runner “Ok I am going.”
Translation – Are you sure you can’t just shoot me?
A little further down the trail
Pacer “Where would you like me to run?”
Translation – Please say in front, please say in front, I really want to run.
Runner “I don’t care, I guess in front.”
Translation – Maybe if you run in front I can hook a rope to you and you can drag me. That’s legal right?
A mile later….
Runner “Maybe…. run beside me?”
Translation – Are you freaking kidding me!! There is no way I can go that fast I can’t even feel my legs!!
Translation – Can I get a cattle prod and run behind you then?
Runner “Sorry I am running so slowly.”
Translation – I really do feel bad you have to run so slow, but I really am happy you are here with me”
Pacer “Don’t worry this is a great pace. You have a lot of miles on your legs today”
Translation – This is horribly slow, my grandmother with a walker goes faster than this!
Pacer “I think the next girl is about an hour behind you.”
Translation – I know the next girl is 5+ hours behind but she is real competitive, maybe this will help?
Runner – No comment
Translation – S*@! Ok… I found a new gear.
Pacer – No comment
Translation - YES!!! We are running!
Runner “I have to puke.”
Translation – Good thing you are on the other side of me this is going everywhere.
Pacer “Maybe ginger ale at the next aid station will help?”
Translation – If you would learn to puke as you run it would really save time.
Runner “Do you see those eyes in the woods?”
Translation – Maybe whatever it is will come and snatch me and put me out of my misery.
Pacer – “What eyes? You’re imagining them. Oh that… it’s just a frog, keep moving.”
Translation – Yup there are about 20 sets of wild animal eyes staring at us. The plus side is I can run faster than you right now so you will be diner not me.
Runner “I really don’t care about a stupid buckle!”
Translation – I really do want that buckle but I also want to stop.
Pacer “Yes you do turn around and keep moving.”
Translation – I am out here all night to help you, you are getting that buckle even if I have to drag you across the finish line!
Runner “When did you turn into the Devil!”
Translation – I hate you, I love you, I hate you, I love you!
Pacer – No comment, laughing inside.
Translation – You think I am the devil now, just wait if you don’t keep moving you will see the real devil come out.
Pacer “We are getting close only a few more miles.”
Translation – Well technically a few can be rounded up so technically 8 miles can be called a few
Translation – Maybe I will survive.
A guy runner passes
Translation – Double crap how is he running so fast! Oh, I just found another gear; no way is another runner going to pass me.
Pacer – No comment
Translation – YES!! And we are now running!!
Runner “This pace isn’t so bad, why was I not running like this before?”
Translation – Everything in my body hurts and hates me, even my pinky finger!
Pacer “You’re doing great!”
Translation – You really are doing great!
Pacer “I see the lights at the finish line, time to go get your buckle.”
Translation – I’m not going to have to drag you across the line, woo hoo!
Runner – “Yes!”
Translation – Adrenaline is such a wonderful thing!
Runner and Pacer Cross the finish line
Runner “Thank you”
Translation – Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! Even though you turned into the devil for a little bit you helped me so much!
Translation – I really did have fun and I am proud of how well you did. Plus it gives me a funny story to tell later.
The mystery dialogue is now solved. You will no longer have to wonder what a runner or pacer really mean in their conversations.